You know, funny story. I was walking home from work one day, when a spitting, foaming, rabid dog came bounding up to me. I could see my very life flash before me. The dog came within feet of me. I saw true madness in its eyes. And then it turned, and ran, and looked over its shoulder at me and said LINKS:

That’s it for this week folks. Remember to send us any story ideas, links, or even critiques. We both love hearing how incompetent we are. Or at least I do. I mean, I grew up Catholic. Guilt and shame are like a tepid pool for me.

Oh Derek Jeter. Why you gotta play it that way? Don’t you realize that Arizona will be just lousy with fat white women in haltertops that will be crying their gummy, mascara-laden eyes out now that you’ve snubbed them? There, there fatty. It’s not the first time, and won’t be the last time, that the universe’s cruel machinations will bring you to tears. For instance, take these LINKS:

That’s it folks. We’re like Depression-era grandmas. We’ll stretch every link as far as we can.