So by the time you read this, the turkey will be brined, as will be Uncle Steve, and stuffed, as will be your sister Connie. See what I did there? I can do this all day. The peas will be steaming, much like your mom after your grandma informs her that “the hearth was dusty” and that “you aren’t worthy of my son.” The crescent rolls will be as straight as your cousin George, if you get what I’m saying. And the yams will be LINKS:

And that’s it for now, folks. Remember, don’t eat too much this Thursday. Try to keep it to under 5000 calories per serving and you should be fine.

So one of the things I like about doing podcasts is the currency of the medium. We can read about a story and immediately hit the aether with our half-formed opinions before we even have a chance to digest what we read. Or skimmed. Or heard that someone else may have read. That’s the case this week, where we’ve hit on some stories that are LINKS:
In case you didn’t get the sarcasm, we actually recorded almost a week ago and I’m only getting around to posting now. That’s what we like to call “dedication to the craft.”
Wait, no, I think it’s the other one.
Hey hey! Look who’s got four thumbs and a new theme song! We figured that the reason we still aren’t on all the “most downloaded” lists was that we weren’t professional enough. So the first thing we did was get a theme song. After that, we hired a secretary named Agnes. After that, we fired Agnes for inappropriate behavior in the company of a minor (she was a real cheek pincher). After that we LINKS:

We managed to nail it right at an hour this week, and I’m pretty proud of that fact. To celebrate, I’m going to flex in the mirror for thirty minutes and then go drink a quart of corn liquor.