Christmas trees. Is there anything better than a really good Christmas tree? With the lights twinkling, the ornaments glinting, the squirrel that was hidden in the boughs of the tree chirping merrily as it chews on the extension cords a la Christmas Vacation, the sap that gets in your hair and makes you look like Cameron Diaz from Something About Mary after a double date, the needles that wind up in the carpet and the couch and somehow, inexplicably, in your cereal, and the smell MY GOD that Christmas tree smell like a pine-tree deodorizer just crawled up into your sinus and straight-up DIED. Also: LINKS!

That’s it for this week. Note that this would have been up earlier, except I just spent 12 hours cleaning fire extinguisher gunk out of every single thing I own. So suck it.

We’re back from a summer hiatus. That’s a fancy way of saying that we don’t love you enough to provide another source of entertainment to go with your cable TV, your three video game systems, your cell phone, your eight magazine subscriptions, and, of course, your omnipresent Internet connection and all its LINKS:

That’s all for now, folks. Look forward to more consistent postings now that the heat of the summer has…um…peaked.
What the hell, Mother Nature. What the hell.

You know, funny story. I was walking home from work one day, when a spitting, foaming, rabid dog came bounding up to me. I could see my very life flash before me. The dog came within feet of me. I saw true madness in its eyes. And then it turned, and ran, and looked over its shoulder at me and said LINKS:

That’s it for this week folks. Remember to send us any story ideas, links, or even critiques. We both love hearing how incompetent we are. Or at least I do. I mean, I grew up Catholic. Guilt and shame are like a tepid pool for me.